November 3, 2004
For more information contact:
Emily Wynns (aka “Lucinda Regulations”)
Co-Director of Public Relations
Alice Meaker (aka “Iona Bigga Yacht”)
Director of Field Operations
917.406.3945 / 845.687.2058
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Celebrate Disappearance of over 1 Million Votes
New York, NY, November 3, 2004 — Billionaires for Bush (B4B), activists for the corporate elite, today raised their martini glasses to President Bush’s victory in the 2004 elections.
"We paid for eight years," announced Phil T. Rich, Billionaire for Bush CEO and Schmoozer-in-Chief, "and trust me, our investment is paying back handsomely."
The Billionaires are looking forward to four more years of war profiteering, corporate welfare, secret energy policy meetings, pollution exemptions, no-bid contracts and White House sleepovers.
"If the next four years resemble the last four," said Phil T. Rich, "we'll have two more wars, $2 trillion added to the deficit, no increase in the minimum wage, continuing increases in the middle-class tax burden, another million jobs outsourced, and our corporate ice sculptures will continue to urinate fine Russian vodka."
The Billionaires were particularly happy that the media chose to refer to an estimated 1 million spoiled and purged votes as a “minor problem.” According to left-wing truth-monger Greg Palast, over 1 million likely Kerry votes were lost. Election officials in the key swing states of Ohio, Florida, and New Mexico successfully removed tens of thousands of legitimate voters from registration rolls and overlooked or lost countless absentee ballots, primarily from minority areas. “These suppressed votes are an example of the huge triumph of our Block the Vote campaign”, said Mr. Rich. “This election was in our pockets long before November 2nd”.
"We breathed a sigh of relief today," explained Mr. Rich. "A changing of the guard would have meant disclosing the lobbyists who wrote the 2001 energy policy, revealing the staffer who leaked Valerie Plame’s name to the press, and incarceration for Kenneth Lay. But now we are filled with hope."
About Billionaires for Bush
Billionaires for Bush is a do-it-yourself media campaign using humor and street theater to expose politicians who support the corporate elite at the expense of everyday Americans. Billionaires for Bush is organized as an independent 527 committee, with headquarters in NYC and 100 chapters nationwide. For more information, please see www.BillionairesforBush.com.
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