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Estate Tax SpeechThe biggest problem with the Estate Tax is that it only affects those of us with Estates. How unfair is that? [crowd: Not fair!]
And not just any Estate. It's got to be a really really really really big Estate. Like ours. It's got to be over $3.5 million per individual. We're not talking family farms here, we're not talking Mom and Pop small businesses here. Oh, no. The Estate Tax doesn't tax them at all. It only taxes us — the really rich. How unfair is that? [crowd: Not fair!]
In fact, there's only [24 / number in your State] of us here in [Maine / your state] who have Estate's that are actually big enough to get taxed. That's right — only 24. And I 'm proud to see that most of us elite citizens are here today. The rest of you [gesturing to onlookers], you little people, you Jerry Springer fans, don't pay a dime. How unfair is that? [crowd: Not fair!]
These Estate Tax supporters think that just because we have millions and millions and millions of dollars, that we should be taxed. They think that the richest 24 people in the state should be taxed and the money given to everybody else. For what? Schools? Libraries? Roads? Day care? Pssshaw! We don't need any of that! Schools? Our kids go to private school! Libraries? We have our own personal libraries. Roads? Can you say Lear Jet? Day care? Hire an au paire!
We say shut down the day care centers. [crowd: "Yeay!"]
Fire some teachers. [crowd: "Yeay!"]
Cut back the library's hours. [crowd: "Yeay!"]
Let the bridges crumble, let the roads fill with pot-holes. [crowd: "Yeay!"]
And, let us keep our unearned fortunes -- every last penny. [crowd: "Yeay!!!!"]
So let me recap: If you have a really really really really big Estate, you get taxed by the Estate Tax. If you DON'T have a really really really really big Estate, you don't get taxed. Instead, you get MONEY from the Government. This is SO NOT fair. We must repeal the Estate Tax!
And that is why we have gathered here today. To thank [Senator X] for his vote to repeal the Estate Tax. [Senator X]: you've always been our man in Washington, but today we are particularly grateful to you: you've really stuck your neck out for us on this one. You know that the Estate Tax means money in the bank for [99.8% / percentage in your state] of your constituents, and yet you still vote to repeal. Only a true risk taker like yourself, a man willing to play Russian roulette with his political future, could come out for us on this one. Thank you [Senator X].
Only a man who stands up in defense of the tiniest of minorities, who carefully listens to the concerns of his largest campaign contributors, who is not swayed by simple consideration of the actual interests of the vast majority of his constituents, could vote to repeal the Estate Tax. Some might call this arrogant, even craven. But we know it by another name: courage. To rise above the interests of your own constituents, to listen only to your own conscience -- and maybe also to the consciences of your largest campaign contributors - and to act accordingly. Is this not true political courage?
And so, [Senator X], today we thank you for your bold and courageous support for Estate Tax repeal and the concerns of the very very very very rich. Thank you.
Now, together, let us solemnly repeat our pledge of democracy:
Never have so few given so much [crowd repeats]
(money) [crowd repeats]
to so few to get so much more [crowd repeats]
(money) [crowd repeats]
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