Methinks They Doth Protest...
It's Day 3 of Convention Hoopla and I don't know about you, but I'm tickled pink as the knickers of Jim McGreevey. The protestors we all feared and potentially reviled have proven a more entertaining diversion than picking apart Therea Heinz Kerry's wardrobe. From the besnouted "Hallibacon" pig-people to the symbolic "unemployment line" wending its way 'round Wall Street, impoverished imps everywhere are making jolly fools of themselves all over Manhattan. (From their rosy hued costumes and colorful 'pink slips', I'd say they're tickled as well!)

Nothing makes me happier than to see a heartfelt celebration of this glorious Administration. Consider the Pig Folks: donning chintzy tiaras and boas to match their swine's probosces, they tossed about fake $100 bills as they shouted "We love money. We love war. We love Cheney even more!" Though their jewelry was of shoddy quality, their currency admittedly false, these courageous ragamuffins nonetheless showed fine spirit in, for a change, hailing our Veep's hallowed Halliburton history. How nice of them to cross party lines and speak up for the Good Guys!

Then there's the 3-mile Out-of-Work Line (or as I like to call it, "Practice"): these scrappy welfare-collectors prove what I've said all along: the unemployed like to stand in line! The entire demonstration proved a touching expression of thanks to our George for kindly eradicating 1.1 million clearly unsavory and unwanted jobs.

So let's hear it for the Mobs, the filthy scamps, who've gathered to entertain us on our way to Le Cirque. Not only have given us laughter-- they've gotten themselves arrested in numbers nearing 1,000, so that the streets can be that much cleaner and prettier for our Cheney's speech tonight.

- posted by Alexis Anna Rolles