How The West Was Spun
When she wasn't holed up in the master bedroom mixing Dom-and-Valium cocktails, my mother always told me: "If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing all the way." And while she may have been referring to our stable boy Andreas, the life lesson remains no less true.

Sadly, this lesson is one clearly never imparted to conservation lobbyists. On Tuesday the Bush Administration came under fire from the Environmental Working Group, which released findings that despite the oil and gas industry's "nearly unfettered opportunity" to drill in 229 million acres of public and private land across 12 Western states, the country is as dependent as ever on foreign oil. According to federal land use records since 1982, the amount of energy yielded from this land is enough to satisfy only 53 days of U.S. oil consumption and 221 days of natural gas consumption, or an average of 3.6 days per year of oil and 14.8 days per year of natural gas. They neglect to mention that these could potentially be very enjoyable days.

The EWG report contends that the President & his high-ranking officials have downplayed the small yield from the net 45 million acres they've opened for drilling since coming to power, and in doing so have perpetrated the "myth" that we can answer our increasing energy needs with domestic excavation. But are not myths the inspiration for greatness? It may not seem like much of a bumper crop, but 18.4 oil-and-gas-fueled days per year are exactly 18.4 more days than what we'd get from staring at protected wetlands filled with moose or whatever. How can we know what drops can be wrung from our own natural resources until we by-God wring 'em all? As Mummy said, go all the way.

Furthermore, unlike oil wells, moose do not make money. And given the $75-plus million the oil and gas industry has poured into political campaigns between 2000 and 2004, with 79 percent going to Republicans, it's nice to know their money is winning them the influence they seek. As Daddy often said to Mummy, you get what you pay for.

- posted by Alexis Anna Rolles